Number One Hits
I got tagged by JoeFlirt – so here goes:
1. Go to the Billboard #1 Hits listings (scroll down and you’ll seen them separated by decades on the left in the sidebar)
2. Pick the year you turned 18
3. Get yourself nostalgic over the songs of the year
4. Pick 5 songs and write something about how these songs affected you
5. Pass it on to 5 more friends
I turned 18 in 1993 – and every single song in that list is a song I hate with the fiery passion of 10 million suns. Here’s 5 songs and my memories of how much I hated them:
Snow – Informer: I don’t like this song – I never have. However, the Kings of Geek (Squirm and… uhmm…. Tall Blonde Dweeb Geek [I can't think of a clever name for him]) LOVED it. And played it. A LOT. They also tried memorizing the words and singing it. Lemme tell you – seeing a freakishly pale blonde guy wearing high-waters and a button down shirt (buttoned to the top button) singing with a Jamaican accent is HILARIOUS. This memory is probably the only reason why I will tolerate it on the radio. It is also the ONLY song on that list that I will tolerate at all.
Aladdin Sountrack – A Whole New World: This was a number 1 hit?! WTF?!!?! My band geek friends bought the sheet music and tried to play it on their instruments… however, since there were only 3 of them, let’s just say they weren’t going to be confused with the real orchestra. Also – the song that was ACTUALLY number 1 was the one by Peabo Bryson and Regina Belle. They sucked all that was good from the cartoon version of the song, so they don’t merit me saying anything other than “you guys suck.”
Meatloaf – I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That): I can’t stand Meatloaf. More specifically, I can’t stand the STYLE of songs that Meatloaf sings. I don’t like my music to be on par with an epic saga or a long, drawn-out story. I also don’t like how this song’s lyrics make no sense. If you’d do ANYTHING for love, you can’t say “except for ____”. And before you go and comment, yes – I KNOW… at the end there’s this woman who lists all these really shitty things and he says “no, I won’t do that” after each one. I get it. But you don’t really do those shitty things for love, do you? You do those things to be selfish or a prick or any other of a dozen really awful reasons – but you don’t think to yourself “I’m gonna go cheat on my girlfriend FOR LOVE.” Basically, what I’m saying here, is that I HATE this song. And I don’t mean just a little bit.
Mariah Carey – Dreamlover: I went to high school with several people of various ethnic backgrounds and skin colors. In fact, the MAJORITY of the students at my school were hispanic or african-american. So, this song was BIG with the majority of the students around campus. While I doubt I would have paid much attention to it if I was out of school when it came out, it was BECAUSE of all the chola girls thinking they could sing like Mariah that I can’t stand hearing even anything she’s ever sung anymore.
Whitney Houston – I Will Always Love You: Basically, everything I said about Dreamlover goes for this song… only multiply it by ten-billion. In fact, it’s because of this song that I never saw the movie that produced it – more than that, though, I will never again watch a movie with Kevin Costner in it because he was in a movie with such a lame soundtrack.
All I have to say about this list is where the hell is all the grunge?! 1993 was an amazing alternative music year – bands like Belly, REM, the Sugarcubes, Sonic Youth, Nirvana, Mudhoney, Dinosaur Jr, and… well… DOZENS more were finally getting some mainstream attention and decent video play on MTV (this was back when MTV played videos). You’d never guess it from that list, though.
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