Shitting myself
I did something today and now I wish I could undo it, but it’s a good thing, so I shouldn’t undo it. It’s good.
I submitted The Soup Storm to Scriptapalooza and the PAGE Awards script competitions.
Now, I am shitting myself. Totally totally shitting myself. What if it’s not good enough? What if I don’t even make it past the quarter-finals? What if I :::gasp::: DO succeed, but I’m to naive or stupid in the business of screenwriting to fully capitalize on that success? What if all my dreams get dashed and I find out that the thing that I’ve been pining for all these years is something I should not have been wasting my time on at all?!
What if I’m just a stressed out ball of energy and I am freaking myself out needlessly?
It’s out of my hands now. It up to the judges to determine if what I wrote is good. And even if I do bad, it’s still good, right? Because then I’ll get feedback on how to make it better from actual professional movie people who know these things and aren’t worried about not hurting my feelings1.
I’m still shitting myself, though. This is suddenly very, very real.
- Yes, I did spring for the extra “judge’s feedback” [↩]
I haven’t read “The Soup Storm”, but if it contains writing like “I’m shitting myself, I’m absolutely shitting myself” I wouldn’t get too excited about winning any prize…
Aloha “Bill” from somewhere in the vicinity of Valencia, CA who uses Road Runner internet service and has an IP address of 76.87.97.51… I was going to email you back, but your email address didn’t work. Hmmm. Odd that in an anonymous blog, you would chose to further obfuscate yourself. No matter…
What I was going to email to you was this:
There is a sample of “The Soup Storm” here http://monicamjacobs.com/2009/03/the-first-few-pages/
Feel free to check it out. You don’t have to, but since you’re judging me based on something you haven’t read, you could at least read a piece. Up to you. Do or don’t, it’s fine. I’m even willing to send you the whole thing in pdf format if you’d like. Again, up to you.
More than that, of COURSE I wouldn’t include writing like that in something that I was trying to sell. What I write here is what I would write my friends. I could be mistaken, but do you always talk to your friends the way you would talk in a job interview? Work… home… two different places, two different people.
Also, nowhere in that post did I say anything about expecting to win. I’m very much expecting NOT to win. For me, the “prize” was completing the goal I had set for myself to finish a screenplay and submit it. I have done that. I am satisfied with that.
I open the door to you for an open discourse if you’d like. I, however, doubt that a coward such as yourself would show here again.
Mahalo